Finding Himself
by Sierra-A.W
Summary: Severus thought he lost everything that Halloween night when Lily and Harry died. Now, ten years later, Severus is faced with the possibility that his son never really died.
1. Chapter 1

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters, so that means I am not J.K. Rowling. Whew it's good to finally get that off my chest! ; P

Everyone celebrated the demise of the terrible Dark Lord, everyone but one. The night that Lily and Harry died, Severus died too. Potter, the fool was supposed to keep her and their infant son safe. He had promised Severus that no harm would come to those he held dear, but he had failed, and now Severus was left to blame only himself.

Lily and Severus had stayed close throughout their years at Hogwarts, there had only been one time where Severus thought he would lose Lily forever, but Lily, being the good, kind, and wonderful person that she was had forgiven Severus from calling her one of the most foul names. They married shortly after finishing at Hogwarts. They had kept their marriage a secret from everyone, everyone but Albus Dumbledore and James Potter.

Severus, during his final year at Hogwarts had been forced into joining the Death Eaters to save his and Lily's lives. Voldemort had wanted a brilliant potions student, and knew Severus was the best, he also knew that Severus was also very close to the mudblood Lily Evans. The Dark Lord was a master manipulator, and new that the only way he was going to gain Severus' help would be to give him proper incentive. He threatened Lily's life if Severus did not join, and so shortly into his seventh year at Hogwarts, Severus found himself branded as one of the Dark Lord's own.

Severus had gone to Dumbledore in hopes that the headmaster could find a way to get him out of the situation he found himself in, but all Dumbledore did to help was to add his own rock to Severus' already full sack…Severus became Dumbledore's spy. Dumbledore did suggest that Severus and Lily let a friend into their circle who could help them, and could pretend to date, and to later marry Lily so that she was safe and was not a target. Since Severus had no friends, at least none that he trusted, Lily suggested James Potter. Severus tried his hardest not to give in, there was no way that Severus wanted to ask for help from his childhood tormentor, but since he could deny Lily nothing, Severus finally agreed.

James gave up much when he agreed to pretend to be Lily's boyfriend, and then husband, and Severus appreciated what he did more than James ever knew. James turned out to not be that bad, sure he had his moments, but he was willing to do whatever it took to keep Lily safe. James and Severus eventually became close friends, probably out of a need to have peace in a home that all three lived in. When Severus left for Death Eater meetings, James would stay with Lily to keep her safe, and eventually when Lily had baby Harry, he kept both of them safe. Severus loved his son, and spent every moment he could with him. He was determined to be a better father than his ever was. All in all Severus, Lily, Harry, and even James were happy and content with their lives, that is until the prophecy came.

When Lily, Severus, and James found out about the prophecy, they went into hiding, going under the fidelus charm. Severus fought long and hard when James wanted to name Peter for their secret keeper, but gave in when Lily threw her support in with James.

The worst night of Severus' life came on a dark and dreary Halloween night. Severus was summoned to the Dark Lord, and as he walked out the door giving Lily and Harry the last hug and kiss he would ever give them, James was promising that he would keep Harry and Lily safe no matter what. Severus walked out the door and apparated away to his meeting, which he would find out later was meant to be a celebration of the Dark Lord destroying the only thing in his way to power. By the time Severus was able to get away from the throng of Death Eaters, and make it to Godric's Hollow it was too late. The Dark Lord had already come and destroyed Severus' wife, child, and friend.

Dumbledore was waiting for Severus as he came to his now destroyed home. He told him how James and Lily had been killed, and that when Voldemort went to kill his son, how something had happened, and Harry, in his death had defeated Voldemort. Severus was too devastated to care that he was free of his servitude to the Dark Lord. He was also too overcome with grief to catch the brief flash of guilt in the headmaster's eyes as he told Severus of his sons' death. That night Severus died, and what replaced him was a bitter man full of hatred in his heart.

10 years later

Severus sat at the staff table glaring at the new first years that were lined up waiting to be sorted. He was in an especially foul mood, because today was the day, which his little Harry, would have been sorted. Severus hardly ever let himself think of the time when he once was a happy husband and father, but today it was hard to ignore. Tonight he would celebrate what should have been his sons' first day at Hogwarts with a lot of stiff drinks in his private quarters. Severus hadn't been paying attention to the sorting going on at all, but was immediately jerked out of his musings by the shout of a name being called to come forward.

"Harry James Potter"

Severus saw a small boy with dark messy hair step out of the line of children and make his way over to the stool where the sorting hat was placed. But Severus couldn't watch anymore, he turned his head so that he was staring at the Headmaster with cold dark eyes, and this time when he met the headmaster's sparkling blue eyes, he could not miss the guilt written all over his face.

Severus turned to look at the boy again, just as he was disappearing under the sorting hat…could this really be his son? Was Harry really alive?

A.N. Ok, so it's been a while since I've attempted to write a story, but I've just had this urge to try again, please let me know if the story is worth updating, and if you guys want me to write more. I don't want to waste my time writing something if no one is going to read it, so please leave me some reviews and let me know what you think! SierraA.W.


	2. The Sorting

Disclaimer: No I'm not J.K. Rowling, and nor do I own Harry Potter; I just enjoy living in the wonderful world she has created!

A.N. Well, I would like to put out a special thanks to DebsTheSlytherinSnapeFan, Nightcrawlerfw, Mervoparkite, and Cabbage137 for your kind reviews, and encouragement. Hopefully you all will enjoy this next chapter!

Chapter 2

Harry's POV

"Harry James Potter!"

Harry jumped a little out of surprise as he heard his name being called by the strict professor…"Professor McGonagall" he thought.

Harry slowly, hesitantly, made his way over to the stool where the old, worn, tattered hat sat. Harry could hear the faint murmurs of the entire student body; they seemed quite surprised by something. He didn't really have time to dwell on that though, Harry carefully picked the hat up, sat down on the stool, and placed the hat on his head. The hat completely covered his head, so that all he was looking at was the darkness on the inside of the hat. He was startled by the voice of the hat inside his head.

"Mr. Potter, it is so nice to know that you are not dead!"

"Dead? What do you mean; of course I'm not dead!" Harry thought most confusedly to the hat.

"Hmm, you do not know…well this is certainly very interesting. I cannot wait to see how things will play out!"

"What are you talking about, I am so very confused," the poor boy thought.

"Well, I'm sure you will find out soon enough." The hat said with a hint of omniscience in its voice.

"I would really like to know what you are…" Harry began, but was cut off by the hat.

"As much as I would love to continue this lovely conversation with you, we really must get you sorted. Now where shall I put you?"

Harry remembered the horribly mean boy named Draco Malfoy, "Please I don't want to be put into Slytherin" Harry pleaded.

"Not Slytherin you say…I don't think you really know what you are asking…"

Harry interrupted the hat, "Please I already have made a friend, Ron Weasley, and all of his family is in Gryfindor, and I think there is a good chance that he will end up in that house too, I would really appreciate it if you would let me be in the same house as my one friend."

"I am glad to hear that you have made a friend, this will make what I have to do much easier, for I am sure that he will still be your friend no matter what house you are in. What I do now is for your benefit, and I am sure you will thank me later, when you know everything…the whole story. You will be best suited in…SLYTHERIN!"

Harry pulled the hat off of his head and stared at the rest of the student population, they all wore similar expressions of shock on their faces, Harry then turned to look back at the rest of the first year students, finding Ron's face in the crowd. Ron gave Harry a sympathetic grin, and then Harry turned back to the rest of the school. The rest of the students seemed to have gotten over their shock, for in the next second the Slytherin table was screaming and clapping in celebration, Harry vaguely heard some kids scream, as he made his way to the table, "He's Ours!"

Draco wore a smug grin on his face as he scooted over to make room for Harry to sit next to him, Harry sighed as he took the offered seat. He was really starting to think life was against him, that he was not meant to be happy.

Boy was he very wrong indeed!

Severus POV

Severus watched in shock along with the rest of the student body as Harry, his Harry was sorted into His house! Severus was filled with euphoria, although no one would know by looking at him. He had his son in his house, luck was definitely on his side…now he would be able to keep that much of a better eye on his son, and never, and he meant never, lose him again! All he had to do now was have a serious discussion with one meddling headmaster.

A.N. Yeah, another chapter done! I'm sorry I didn't have the argument between Severus and Dumbledore this chapter, but I just couldn't get out of my head the conversation with the sorting hat and Harry. Anyways, next chapter should have the confrontation with Dumbles! Alright, so here is my little favor to ask of you guys, I would really appreciate it, if you left me a review and let me know whether you love it, hate it, don't really care, or just want to say hi. Reviews are what really motivate me to get chapters written, so please take a moment and leave one. Alright, stepping down from my soap box, TTFN!


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